Summary: A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara

After com­plet­ing their uni­ver­si­ty edu­ca­tion, a close group of com­pan­ions — Mal­colm, JB, Jude, and Willem — find them­selves maneu­ver­ing through post-grad exis­tence in New York City. Mal­colm feels dis­heart­ened by what he per­ceives as a defi­cien­cy in achieve­ments, JB is self-assured about his promis­ing future as an artist, while Jude and Willem are appre­cia­tive of the oppor­tu­ni­ty to cre­ate their own paths in life. Over time, Jude, in par­tic­u­lar, stands out among the group. Despite being labeled as the “post-man,” some­one who tran­scends race, eth­nic­i­ty, and per­haps even life expe­ri­ences, Jude’s tale unveils a deeply trou­bled his­to­ry involv­ing phys­i­cal, sex­u­al, and emo­tion­al harm. To cope, he engages in self-injury, fre­quent­ing a med­ical pro­fes­sion­al to tend to his wounds. His bril­liance as a law schol­ar gar­ners men­tors, includ­ing a pro­fes­sor named Harold. Harold, aston­ished by Jude’s intel­lect and eth­i­cal argu­ments, becomes a piv­otal pres­ence in Jude’s life. Tragedy strikes when Harold’s 6‑year-old son pass­es away, prompt­ing Harold and his wife Julia to make the uncon­ven­tion­al choice of adopt­ing Jude, then aged 30. The joy of the occa­sion is slight­ly over­shad­owed by JB’s absence, as he has upset the group through exploit­ing Jude’s anguish for his artis­tic endeav­ors. Jude’s past con­tin­ues to linger as he con­tends with health chal­lenges stem­ming from his trau­mat­ic child­hood. Even­tu­al­ly, he tran­si­tions from work­ing at the U.S. Attorney’s office to a pros­per­ous pri­vate firm but strug­gles to rel­ish the finan­cial rewards. Ten­sions arise in his rela­tion­ships with friends, par­tic­u­lar­ly when JB’s mock­ery of Jude’s dis­abil­i­ty lands him in the hos­pi­tal due to sub­stance abuse. As his jour­ney unfolds, Jude’s life spi­rals into deep­er tur­moil. He embarks on a rela­tion­ship with Caleb Porter, an indi­vid­ual who inflicts phys­i­cal and emo­tion­al harm. These abus­es evoke mem­o­ries of his past, par­tic­u­lar­ly his time with Broth­er Luke, who abduct­ed him as a child, coerc­ing him into pros­ti­tu­tion. Over­whelmed by his dis­tress­ing his­to­ry, Jude attempts sui­cide. Despite the sup­port from his friends, Jude’s men­tal well-being con­tin­ues to dete­ri­o­rate, lead­ing to self-inflict­ed harm and a strained roman­tic bond with Willem. As his friends attain career mile­stones, Jude grap­ples with the choice to ampu­tate his legs. Tragedy strikes once more when Willem, Mal­colm, and oth­ers per­ish in a car acci­dent. Jude tries to nav­i­gate through the loss by cling­ing to mem­o­ries of Willem and prac­tic­ing kind­ness, yet strug­gles with restrict­ing food intake and ulti­mate­ly suc­ceeds in a final sui­cide bid.

part 1 chapter 1

Fac­ing finan­cial con­straints, Jude and Willem are unable to afford even the sim­plest apart­ments in New York, much to the amuse­ment of their for­mer col­lege room­mates, JB and Mal­colm. JB, how­ev­er, con­nects them with an acquain­tance own­ing an apart­ment. This acquain­tance takes a lik­ing to Willem, an attrac­tive indi­vid­ual, but Willem does not rec­i­p­ro­cate. Jude pre­sumes that Willem shuns female atten­tion to appear less intim­i­dat­ing to male friends. Their pri­ma­ry con­cern is that the apart­ment must have a func­tion­al ele­va­tor, giv­en Jude’s mobil­i­ty chal­lenges. JB finds solace in his cus­tom­ary Sun­day din­ner, rem­i­nisc­ing about his upbring­ing under the care of a cher­ished Hait­ian grand­moth­er, despite his dis­sat­is­fac­tion with his progress as an artist. Upon mov­ing into the Lispe­nard Street apart­ment, Jude and Willem face the hur­dle of a mal­func­tion­ing ele­va­tor. They devise a sys­tem where­in Jude coor­di­nates unpack­ing while oth­ers assist in lift­ing. Despite the inad­e­quate con­di­tions, they are relieved to have a place of their own. Dur­ing a severe pain episode, Jude resists seek­ing help or dis­cussing his dis­abil­i­ty, a com­plex­i­ty that Willem strug­gles to com­pre­hend. Willem has wit­nessed Jude’s suf­fer­ing since col­lege but refrained from inter­ven­ing, a deci­sion he now regrets. JB resides in a lav­ish artist’s dwelling, under­tak­ing rou­tine tasks for an art pub­li­ca­tion in hopes of gar­ner­ing recog­ni­tion. He takes pride in his Black her­itage, unlike Mal­colm, who is less pre­oc­cu­pied with his mixed lin­eage, caus­ing a strain in their bond. Aged 27, Mal­colm resides with his par­ents and feels bur­dened by their con­sis­tent vis­its and con­ver­sa­tions. Life was sim­pler when Jude and Flo­ra, Mal­colm’s sib­ling, lived with them, as it dif­fused the social oblig­a­tions. Present­ly, Mal­colm is entan­gled in cater­ing to his par­ents’ needs, strug­gling to stream­line his life.

part 1 chapter 2

Com­mut­ing to his stu­dio in Long Island City, JB pri­vate­ly acknowl­edges his detach­ment from the work­ing-class immi­grants sur­round­ing him, despite shar­ing a sim­i­lar immi­grant back­ground. His stu­dio milieu and col­leagues ampli­fy his iden­ti­ty as an artist. Por­trai­ture serves as JB’s artis­tic domain, diverg­ing from the abstract art and sculp­ture pur­suits of his three co-work­ers. Over time, JB inclines towards using his for­mer col­lege com­pan­ions as sub­jects for his art, receiv­ing their con­sent to uti­lize their images on the con­di­tion that they pos­sess final say on dis­played cre­ations. Jude emerges as a cap­ti­vat­ing yet hes­i­tant sub­ject, prompt­ing JB to craft his finest piece from a covert pho­to of Jude. Willem, an actor, serves as a wait­er at Ortolan, an upscale eatery that employs actors at var­i­ous stages of their careers. Reflect­ing on his career tra­jec­to­ry and per­son­al iden­ti­ty, Willem val­ues com­pas­sion over ambi­tion. Hail­ing from an immi­grant fam­i­ly, Willem shoul­dered the respon­si­bil­i­ty of car­ing for his broth­er Hem­ming, afflict­ed with cere­bral pal­sy. Amid Hem­ming’s seri­ous ill­ness, Willem hasti­ly returns home from col­lege, bor­row­ing trav­el funds from Mal­colm. Despite his par­ents’ insis­tence on stay­ing in col­lege, Hem­ming’s health dete­ri­o­rates, cul­mi­nat­ing in his soli­tary demise, a deci­sion that tor­ments Willem. Sub­se­quent­ly, while Willem pur­sues grad­u­ate stud­ies, his par­ents pass away. Mal­colm, a bud­ding archi­tect, col­lab­o­rates with Rat­star Archi­tects along­side oth­er zeal­ous young pro­fes­sion­als. His co-work­ers approach their work with a light-heart­ed demeanor, engag­ing in pas­sion­ate dis­cus­sions about their artis­tic prin­ci­ples. Fol­low­ing work hours, a taxi ride prompts Mal­colm to reflect on his racial­ly ambigu­ous iden­ti­ty, often derid­ed by JB. While Mal­colm aspires to tran­scend racial cat­e­go­riza­tion, JB views race as a per­for­ma­tive engage­ment, pri­mar­i­ly inter­act­ing with indi­vid­u­als of col­or dur­ing col­lege. Hail­ing from afflu­ence, Mal­colm grap­ples with under­stand­ing the des­ti­tu­tion expe­ri­enced by fig­ures like Jude. Beyond racial iden­ti­ty, Mal­colm grap­ples with the absence of love in his life and his strug­gle to estab­lish a pro­fes­sion­al foothold as an archi­tect, opt­ing for Rat­star to ful­fill his par­ents’ wish­es over join­ing a more dar­ing, risk-tak­ing firm estab­lished by his pals.

part 1 chapter 3

Encour­aged by JB, Jude and Willem orga­nize a New Year’s cel­e­bra­tion, lead­ing Jude to go over­board with prepa­ra­tions. Willem antic­i­pates that their com­rades will not appre­ci­ate Jude’s exces­sive efforts. Unex­pect­ed­ly awok­en by Jude, Willem dis­cov­ers the urgent need for care due to a severe self-inflict­ed wound. Unaware of the grav­i­ty and self-inflict­ed nature of the injury, Willem trans­ports him to see Dr. Andy Con­trac­tor. Fol­low­ing treat­ment, Andy con­fi­den­tial­ly appris­es Willem of Jude’s incli­na­tions toward self-harm, advis­ing him to close­ly mon­i­tor Jude for any signs of sui­ci­dal ten­den­cies. Upon return­ing home, as Jude rests, Willem encoun­ters the marked evi­dence of Jude’s self-inflict­ed harm on his arms. Rec­ol­lec­tions of a past hol­i­day sur­face, dur­ing which Mal­colm expressed con­cerns about Jude’s self-harm­ing behav­ior. Willem acknowl­edges his inad­e­quate response back then, enabling Jude to divert atten­tion, a.repeated con­duct mod­el. He also remem­bers a recent occur­rence of wak­ing up fright­ened about Jude’s well-being, dis­cov­er­ing bloody gar­ments in the restroom. Rebuk­ing him­self for ignor­ing Jude’s destruc­tive incli­na­tions, Willem opts to chal­lenge him. Nev­er­the­less, Jude’s sin­cere apol­o­gy ren­ders him unable to pro­long the dis­cus­sion. Despite Willem’s pro­pos­al, Jude insists they can’t call off the cel­e­bra­tion, cit­ing var­i­ous prac­ti­cal ratio­nales. Upon Mal­colm and JB’s arrival, they inad­ver­tent­ly lock them­selves on the rooftop, lack­ing coats or phones. Jude sug­gests they low­er him to the fire escape. Despite the per­il involved, they agree to the plan as Jude is the sole indi­vid­ual who can dis­en­tan­gle the intri­cate wire lock he’d affixed on his win­dow. Willem grap­ples with remorse and fury while observ­ing Jude endeav­or to unlock the win­dow. Fail­ing due to the dis­tance, cold, and his ban­daged arm, Willem leaps after him. Embrac­ing Jude, he leans in, unfas­tens the lock, and escorts them indoors. In the cozi­ness of their cham­ber, Jude instructs Willem to assist their pals while he attends to his arm.

part 2 chapter 1

Jude embarks on a lengthy, intro­spec­tive stroll through New York City on a Sun­day, rem­i­nisc­ing about his ini­tial uni­ver­si­ty years and his inter­ac­tions with Broth­er Luke. He val­ues his matu­ri­ty and views his unat­trac­tive Lispe­nard Street dwelling as a rep­re­sen­ta­tion of auton­o­my. He men­tors a 12-year-old boy named Felix, rem­i­nis­cent of his own ear­ly days. Despite being well-edu­cat­ed and per­cep­tive, Jude bears the wounds of a har­row­ing past, evi­dent through his scarci­ty of per­son­al anec­dotes. Among his com­pan­ions, he entrusts Willem com­plete­ly. When ques­tioned about the injuries on his legs, he fal­si­fies a tale about a vehic­u­lar mishap. Ana, a social work­er, aid­ed Jude in recu­per­at­ing from his trau­mat­ic his­to­ry and guid­ed him through his col­lege prepa­ra­tion. Yet, Jude still guards his secrets vig­i­lant­ly, appre­hen­sive of divulging too much about his past. Jude works in Judge Sullivan’s office, a posi­tion arranged by his legal men­tor, Harold. Harold also famil­iar­izes him with the realm of law and employs him for a dis­tinct con­sti­tu­tion­al legal analy­sis. Intim­i­dat­ed by Harold’s benev­o­lence, Jude main­tains a dis­tance, haunt­ed by past instances of men seek­ing favors of a sex­u­al nature in exchange for kind­ness. Jude’s chief schol­ar­ly inter­est lies in pure math­e­mat­ics, but he opts for law for finan­cial sta­bil­i­ty. He becomes a reg­u­lar attendee at Harold’s soirées and grows fond of the cama­raderie between him and his com­pan­ions. Despite their inti­mate bond, Harold ceas­es to inquire about Jude’s past, respect­ing his pri­va­cy. Jude’s physi­cian, Andy, cau­tions him about his declin­ing health. He urges Jude to engage with a ther­a­pist owing to his self-inju­ri­ous ten­den­cies. Jude starts feel­ing self-con­scious about his dis­abil­i­ties, pon­der­ing if his peers are mere­ly sym­pa­thiz­ing with his depen­dent state. Jude reflects on his monas­tic exis­tence, the mal­treat­ment he endured, and his fruit­less quest for his bio­log­i­cal par­ents. His most trau­mat­ic rec­ol­lec­tions include being appre­hend­ed for theft and fac­ing sex­u­al exploita­tion as pun­ish­ment. The sole acts of kind­ness he rec­ol­lects are from Broth­er Luke, whose influ­ence has deeply affect­ed him. Fol­low­ing his exten­sive prom­e­nade, he real­izes that this is now his exis­tence — over­shad­owed by his past and a forth­com­ing laden with suffering.

part 2 chapter 2

Harold pens his mus­ings to Willem regard­ing their mutu­al com­rade, Jude. He rec­ol­lects his ini­tial encoun­ters with the group of four, par­tic­u­lar­ly high­light­ing Jude’s dis­tinc­tive demeanor and Willem’s atten­tive regard for Jude’s unspo­ken require­ments. Brought up by a father who was a med­ical prac­ti­tion­er and a com­pas­sion­ate step­moth­er, Harold even­tu­al­ly mar­ries an emo­tion­al­ly reserved oncol­o­gist. Their time spent togeth­er is sparse. The unplanned preg­nan­cy is car­ried through due to inde­ci­sion, result­ing in the birth of Jacob More. This endows Harold with a new­found com­pre­hen­sion of the fear intrin­sic to par­ent­hood. How­ev­er, Jacob’s pass­ing pro­vides Harold with a sense of relief as the fear dis­si­pates. Dwelling in his rever­ie, Harold also reflects on Jude’s pro­gres­sion through law school. The aim of this jour­ney is to decon­struct the mind for refur­bish­ment. Jude’s excep­tion­al mem­o­ry and prob­lem-solv­ing capa­bil­i­ties are hin­dered by his pro­found sense of moral­i­ty. Harold engages his stu­dents with a tra­di­tion­al legal dilem­ma that chal­lenges their per­cep­tion of jus­tice while impart­ing knowl­edge on legal appli­ca­tion. Nonethe­less, Jude dis­tin­guish­es between what is deemed “fair” and what is con­sid­ered “right.” This tran­si­tion from moral to legal cog­i­ta­tion, engi­neered by Harold, leaves him feel­ing as if he has let Jude down.

part 2 chapter 3

Just before Thanks­giv­ing, Jude receives an unex­pect­ed paint­ing from JB, which ini­tial­ly led to dis­cord among their group of friends. JB had curat­ed his inau­gur­al exhi­bi­tion titled “The Boys,” a year pri­or, exhibit­ing paint­ings of his com­pan­ions. Despite pledg­ing to seek Jude’s approval before show­cas­ing his por­traits, JB reneges on his promise and dis­plays a paint­ing of Jude emerg­ing from a per­son­al tur­moil. Although impressed by JB’s artis­tic tal­ent, Jude is ini­tial­ly incensed by JB’s deceit and sub­se­quent lack of con­tri­tion for his deeds. Willem stands by Jude while Mal­colm endeav­ors to medi­ate, yet the schism con­tin­ues to widen. Notwith­stand­ing their indi­vid­ual pro­fes­sion­al accom­plish­ments, it’s the receipt of this paint­ing that ulti­mate­ly rec­on­ciles them. Jude express­es his thanks to JB in a note and donates the paint­ing to MoMA. Harold and Juli­a’s Thanks­giv­ing gath­er­ing com­mences in cus­tom­ary fashion—Harold metic­u­lous­ly plans yet falls short of his antic­i­pa­tions. Whilst the din­ner table buzzes with spir­it­ed con­ver­sa­tion, Jude finds him­self pre­oc­cu­pied. Harold and Julia wish to broach a sig­nif­i­cant mat­ter with him. Both Jude and Willem spec­u­late on the prob­a­ble sub­ject, but Willem’s lack of insight into Jude’s past impedes him from assuag­ing Jude’s anx­i­eties. As the dis­cus­sion ensues, Jude fears Harold and Julia have unearthed his secret and are on the brink of ostra­ciz­ing him. To his sur­prise, they reveal their desire to adopt him. This news elic­its joy from Willem and Andy, and curios­i­ty from JB and Mal­colm. How­ev­er, Jude is haunt­ed by mem­o­ries of his pri­or failed adop­tion expe­ri­ence and fears a recur­rence, dri­ving him to self-inflic­tion and self-star­va­tion. Despite Andy’s com­fort­ing words, Jude is con­vinced that Harold will uncov­er his true nature and for­sake him. Andy tends to his wounds and begins noc­tur­nal psy­chother­a­py ses­sions with him whilst enforc­ing a high-calo­rie reg­i­men. Dur­ing a vis­it, Jude attempts to broach his past with Harold. Strug­gling to artic­u­late his emo­tions, Harold vol­un­teers abso­lu­tion. Sub­se­quent­ly, Jude drifts off to sleep and dreams of the life he could have led if he had been adopt­ed by a fam­i­ly known as the Learys. On the eve of the adop­tion, Jude cooks for the gath­er­ing at Harold and Juli­a’s res­i­dence and retires at day­break. Willem returns ear­ly to sur­prise Jude, and Harold bestows upon Jude a fam­i­ly heirloom—a watch with his ini­tials engraved. JB presents Harold with a por­trait of Jude, and Willem gives him a stat­uette of the saint Judas Thad­deus. Ashamed of his gift—a set of record­ings and a note dis­clos­ing his past—Jude con­ceals them in their book­shelf. As the day draws to a close, Jude and Willem engage in dis­course about the day’s events. In the fol­low­ing week, Jude con­fides in Felix that he aspires to forge friend­ships one day.

part 3 chapter 1

JB dupes the boys into attend­ing a gath­er­ing with their les­bian col­le­giateAc­quain­tances by per­suad­ing them that one of the young women is under­go­ing a tran­si­tion. Willem endeav­ors to res­cue Jude from an awk­ward dis­cus­sion, but the gath­er­ing is packed with JB’s self-absorbed cre­ative bud­dies who ridicule the endeav­ors of oth­ers. Jude dis­creet­ly departs while Willem is engaged in a con­ver­sa­tion, but Willem prompt­ly fol­lows. Philip­pa, Willem’s for­mer girl­friend, char­ac­ter­izes his bond with Jude as “inter­de­pen­dent” and dis­ap­proves of Willem’s loy­al­ty to his pals as imma­ture rather than depend­able. Post their split, Mal­colm’s father scolds Willem for his resis­tance to grow up, but Harold con­soles Willem by affirm­ing that he will dis­cov­er his path to con­tent­ment, regard­less of hav­ing a com­pan­ion. Willem regards his friend­ships as more pre­cious than any amorous con­nec­tion he’s encoun­tered, yet he feels insuf­fi­cient as a con­fi­dant to JB and Jude. Pri­or to the adop­tion, Andy rebukes Willem for let­ting Jude inflict harm upon him­self. Willem endeav­ors to keep a vig­i­lant watch over Jude, but Jude remains cau­tious. Willem is pri­mar­i­ly dis­tressed by Jude’s secre­cy as he desires to look after him bet­ter. Despite own­ing his own place, Willem pre­dom­i­nant­ly spends his days at Jude’s on Greene Street, deem­ing it his sanc­tu­ary. Being in Jude’s pres­ence feels like home to him. On set, Willem is tend­ed to and nev­er left alone. He rem­i­nisces about the moments pre­ced­ing film­ing, where the hair and make­up crew, the Van­i­ties, enhance his appear­ance. He once inquires if Jude is con­tent, to which Jude replies that attain­ing hap­pi­ness seems out of reach for him. One Sun­day morn­ing, Jude awak­ens while count­ing his blessings—his kin, pals, and a momen­tary respite from dis­com­fort. He’s escort­ing Mal­colm to the tai­lor as Mal­colm may soon be tying the knot with Sophie. Jude derives assur­ance from his suits, espe­cial­ly when he must uti­lize a wheelchair.

part 3 chapter 2

Jude is enlist­ed by Rosen Pritchard and Klein, cour­tesy of Lucien Voigt, who is asso­ci­at­ed with Judge Sul­li­van. Despite his eth­i­cal qualms about the employ­ment, he receives it out of finan­cial neces­si­ty. Upon arriv­ing home one evening, he dis­cov­ers the ele­va­tor out of order, trig­ger­ing a dis­tress­ing event where he los­es con­scious­ness after fer­ry­ing his wheel­chair up the stairs. His pals Willem and Andy reach the scene too late to assist. Harold berates Jude for accept­ing the posi­tion at the law firm, but Jude declines any finan­cial aid from him, even for acquir­ing an apart­ment. The job proves grat­i­fy­ing for Jude, though he miss­es the enthu­si­asm his for­mer col­leagues had for the law. To off­set the absent zest at work, Jude par­takes in pro bono tasks with an artist col­lec­tive where he encoun­ters Richard, a past stu­dio mate of JB. Richard extends an offer to Jude to pro­cure an apart­ment in his build­ing, fea­tur­ing a spa­cious, dis­abil­i­ty-friend­ly ele­va­tor. Jude rec­ol­lects the ani­mos­i­ty he sensed from Willem’s part­ner, Philip­pa, due to his unin­ter­rupt­ed pres­ence in their lives. Despite Willem’s pre­sump­tion that they would age togeth­er, Jude expe­ri­ences guilt over intrud­ing on Willem’s per­son­al space. After set­tling the dues for his new res­i­dence, Jude begins con­serv­ing for a laser surgery to oblit­er­ate his back scars. Nonethe­less, Andy fur­nish­es him with research indi­cat­ing the poten­tial haz­ard of rein­fec­tion, prompt­ing Jude to opt for a scar-decreas­ing oint­ment instead. In the inter­im, Mal­colm estab­lish­es his own archi­tec­tur­al firm, Bell­cast, under­tak­ing ven­tures like a muse­um in Doha and refur­bish­ments for Willem and Jude’s res­i­dences. Jude ini­tial­ly feels dis­mayed about Mal­colm’s inten­tion to inte­grate dis­abil­i­ty-friend­ly ameni­ties in his dwelling, so Mal­colm ren­ders them less overt. After con­vers­ing about Mal­colm’s poten­tial nup­tials, Jude real­izes he should be more open to seek­ing aid from his friends, even con­tem­plat­ing request­ing Willem to apply the scar cream on his back.

part 3 chapter 3

JB is addict­ed to meth. His fam­i­ly endeav­ors to secure pro­fes­sion­al sup­port for him, but JB dis­re­gards their endeav­ors. His sub­se­quent art exhi­bi­tion is dubbed “Every­one I’ve Ever Known Every­one I’ve Ever Loved Every­one I’ve Ever Hat­ed Every­one I’ve Ever Slept With,” por­tray­ing his con­tacts. Dur­ing the exhi­bi­tion, he encoun­ters Jack­son, an afflu­ent indi­vid­ual who intro­duces him to metham­phet­a­mine. JB becomes entan­gled in Jack­son’s sex­u­al exploits, par­tak­ing in self-inju­ri­ous activ­i­ties while yearn­ing for a “nice Cau­casian lad.” This affil­i­a­tion with Jack­son emerges after JB jeop­ar­dizes his bonds with friends Jude and Willem. As his com­rades Mal­colm and Sophie draw clos­er, JB feels iso­lat­ed. While his cohorts thrive pro­fes­sion­al­ly, JB grows cyn­i­cal and embit­tered, par­tic­u­lar­ly towards Jude and Willem. He’s ensnared in the past, vexed at his friends for their aspi­ra­tion for nor­mal­cy and their indi­vid­ual friend­ships, fam­i­lies, and cus­toms. He dis­cov­ers Jude is an unre­lent­ing attor­ney. On one occa­sion, in an effort to renounce nar­cotics, JB con­tacts Jude for aid; how­ev­er, Jack­son inter­venes, lead­ing JB astray. Lat­er on, Jack­son deri­sive­ly mim­ics Jude’s gait. JB’s third art sequence, “Sec­onds Min­utes Hours Days,” cap­tures his friends dur­ing their habit­u­al work­days but excludes his own like­ness. The series is pro­found­ly per­son­al, yet it also lays bare his defi­cien­cies. JB endeav­ors to become sober by tidy­ing his stu­dio over the Fourth of July week­end. How­ev­er, he suc­cumbs to the lure of drugs and over­dos­es at his res­i­dence. He regains aware­ness three days lat­er to an inter­ven­tion staged by his friends. Ini­tial­ly coop­er­a­tive, he soon lash­es out at them for their per­ceived remote­ness in his life. He directs his ire at Jude, blam­ing him for his predica­ment. JB imi­tates Jackson’s spite­ful mim­ic­ry of Jude’s stride, prompt­ing Willem to strike him. JB awakes in the hos­pi­tal, teth­ered, with Jude at his side. He offers pro­fuse apolo­gies to Jude.

part 4 chapter 1

Approach­ing forty, Jude attends the funer­al of his for­mer math pro­fes­sor, Dr. Kashen. Here, he lis­tens to a eulo­gy from Dr. Li regard­ing Dr. Kashen’s cher­ished math­e­mat­i­cal prin­ci­ple, the emp­ty set. The sub­se­quent day, Jude and his com­pan­ion Willem attend a wed­ding where they come across old acquain­tances Mal­colm and JB. The unre­solved ten­sion between JB and Jude resur­faces, with Jude rec­ol­lect­ing JB’s hurt­ful mock­ery of him. That evening, Jude engages in self-harm. Before Willem departs for an extend­ed film­ing assign­ment, he and Jude share a meal jest­ing­ly dubbed “The Last Sup­per.” Dur­ing this occa­sion, Willem’s part­ner Robin endeav­ors to set Jude up, but he declines, feel­ing inca­pable of artic­u­lat­ing his anx­i­eties and vul­ner­a­bil­i­ties. Fol­low­ing the meal, Jude inflicts harm upon him­self once more, con­fess­ing to him­self that he is lone­ly despite his rel­a­tive hap­pi­ness with his mod­est expec­ta­tions from life. At a col­league’s gath­er­ing, Jude encoun­ters Caleb Porter, and they lat­er embark on a date. Caleb kiss­es Jude, who invites him up to his home. This marks Jude’s ini­tial inti­mate encounter since he was fif­teen, a moment he does­n’t rel­ish. Nev­er­the­less, he val­ues Cale­b’s pres­ence and con­ver­sa­tion. How­ev­er, Caleb despis­es Jude’s dis­abil­i­ty, per­ceiv­ing it as a flaw and, fol­low­ing three months togeth­er, he assaults Jude phys­i­cal­ly. Suf­fer­ing nerve dam­age that impacts his mobil­i­ty, Jude endures fur­ther bru­tal attacks from Caleb dur­ing a week­end retreat. His physi­cian, Andy, express­es relief when Jude assures him that his wounds aren’t self-inflict­ed. Upon Cale­b’s intox­i­cat­ed arrival at a din­ner with Jude’s men­tor, Harold, Harold threat­ens to noti­fy the author­i­ties. Sub­se­quent­ly, Caleb sub­jects Jude to a severe attack once more at their res­i­dence, even per­pe­trat­ing sex­u­al assault. In his shame and agony, Jude con­tem­plates his cher­ished math­e­mat­i­cal prin­ci­ple, the axiom of equal­i­ty, and trag­i­cal­ly applies it to his own exis­tence, believ­ing that he is fat­ed for mal­treat­ment and degradation.

part 4 chapter 2

Con­tent warn­ing: The fol­low­ing con­tent involves self-injury and tox­ic rela­tion­ships. Harold nar­rates the sto­ry of his son Jacob’s strug­gle with a rare ill­ness, Nishi­hara syn­drome, which ren­dered him almost motion­less at the age of five. Harold’s remorse for not feel­ing deeply attached to Jacob is eased by his father’s coun­sel on the sig­nif­i­cance of “realign­ing” in par­ent­hood. Liesl, on the oth­er hand, excels in this aspect. Fol­low­ing Jacob’s demise, Harold and Liesl split and build new fam­i­lies, with spo­radic com­mu­ni­ca­tion focused pri­mar­i­ly on Jacob. Harold con­tem­plates adopt­ing Jude, dis­re­gard­ing Lau­rence’s hes­i­ta­tions about Jude’s obscured past. Recall­ing JB’s advice on avoid­ing exces­sive ques­tion­ing of Jude, Harold regrets not assur­ing Jude that his accep­tance is absolute. Writ­ing to Willem, Harold empathizes with the chal­lenge of under­stand­ing and adher­ing to Jude’s self-imposed con­straints. Harold is shocked by Jude’s per­sis­tent court­room demeanor and reproach­es him­self for not shield­ing Jude from Caleb or his self-degrad­ing thoughts. Harold envi­sions remov­ing Caleb and stum­bles upon Jude injured post Cale­b’s out­burst. Despite Jude’s reluc­tance to involve law enforce­ment, Harold and Andy tend to Jude’s wounds and fab­ri­cate a sto­ry of a car acci­dent to cov­er up the inci­dent. After tidy­ing up Jude’s place, chang­ing the locks, and dis­pos­ing of his razors, Harold endeav­ors to con­vince Jude of his val­ue. Jude’s propo­si­tion to annul the adop­tion leaves Harold stunned. Andy briefs Harold on Jude’s med­ical con­di­tion, and upon return­ing home, Jude insists on main­tain­ing his auton­o­my, declines food, and apol­o­gizes for the incon­ve­nience he has caused. Harold strives to per­suade Jude that the blame rests with Caleb and broach­es the top­ic of poten­tial sex­u­al abuse, which Jude declines to dis­cuss. As Jude retreats from phys­i­cal con­tact, Harold rec­og­nizes the neces­si­ty for exten­sive emo­tion­al heal­ing. His thoughts on Caleb tran­si­tion from vio­lence to desir­ing an apol­o­gy and acknowl­edg­ment of Jude’s worth.

Con­tent warn­ing: The fol­low­ing includes ref­er­ences to assault, abuse, self-inflict­ed injuries, and exploita­tion. In Jude’s rec­ol­lec­tion, he revis­its the moments with Broth­er Luke at the monastery, who becomes his ally. They rev­el in sim­ple joys like col­lab­o­rat­ing in the green­house and envi­sion­ing a life togeth­er in a seclud­ed cab­in. Ulti­mate­ly, they abscond in ear­ly spring. Present­ly, Jude endeav­ors to erase past ago­nies, par­tic­u­lar­ly those involv­ing Caleb, by immers­ing him­self in work. How­ev­er, he suc­cumbs to exhaus­tion, neces­si­tat­ing inter­ven­tions from his friends, Lucien and Andy. Despite win­ning a sig­nif­i­cant legal bat­tle, Jude is haunt­ed by his past, exac­er­bat­ing his self-harm­ing ten­den­cies. Con­tem­plat­ing sui­cide, Jude rec­on­ciles with Harold and Willem before inflict­ing severe harm on him­self. Young Jude and Broth­er Luke alter their appear­ances and relo­cate to Texas, resid­ing covert­ly in a motel. Broth­er Luke edu­cates Jude at home while hunt­ing for their dream cab­in. One day, Broth­er Luke con­fess­es their finan­cial inca­pac­i­ty to pur­chase the cab­in and coerces Jude into illic­it activ­i­ties. Jude soon dis­cerns the fal­la­cy of the cab­in dream and the inescapa­bil­i­ty of abuse. After con­tract­ing a sex­u­al­ly trans­mit­ted dis­ease, Jude grasps the nor­mal­i­ty he has been deprived of. Sur­viv­ing the sui­cide attempt, Jude awak­ens in a psy­chi­atric facil­i­ty, with Willem by his side. Reluc­tant to engage with the insti­tu­tion’s psy­chi­a­trist, Dr. Solomon, Jude con­sents to mon­i­tor­ing and over­sight to secure his release. In New York, Willem remains close to Jude, per­suad­ing him to embark on a belat­ed birth­day trip to Moroc­co. Sub­se­quent to their return, Jude’s mem­o­ries resur­face, prompt­ing a resur­gence of self-harm. Amidst a night­mare, Willem probes about Jude’s trau­ma, prompt­ing Jude to divulge his his­to­ry. In his for­ma­tive years, Jude grap­ples with exces­sive sleep and self-inflict­ed harm as a means of escapism. Plead­ing with Broth­er Luke to cease exploit­ing him after endur­ing assaults from mul­ti­ple men, Jude encoun­ters resis­tance as Broth­er Luke empha­sizes their finan­cial depen­dence. In Mon­tana, Broth­er Luke (real name Edgar Wilmot) is appre­hend­ed by law enforce­ment and takes his own life. Jude under­goes ques­tion­ing by author­i­ties, and though bewil­dered by the abuse, he appre­ci­ates the edu­ca­tion impart­ed by Broth­er Luke.

Willem, an inces­sant­ly anx­ious per­former, gar­ners acclaim at 38 for his role in The Sycamore Court. A pub­lic lun­cheon with Jude ele­vates their sta­tus due to Willem’s new­found renown. Fol­low­ing Jude’s sui­cide attempt, Willem relo­cates to Jude’s res­i­dence on Greene Street, con­sumed by guilt and anguish over Jude’s recount­ed adver­si­ties. Their arrange­ment for sto­ry­telling emerges from Jude’s aver­sion to seek­ing ther­a­py. Jude and Willem rec­on­cile with their com­pan­ion JB post a dis­agree­ment. Willem con­fess­es to JB that Jude har­bors more self-loathing than any­one they know, even exceed­ing JB him­self. JB’s lat­est exhi­bi­tion is titled “The Narcissist’s Guide to Self-Hatred.” Upon learn­ing of Cale­b’s demise, Jude reacts vio­lent­ly, con­ceal­ing his tur­moil from con­cerned acquain­tances. Willem par­takes in anoth­er film, Uncle Vanya, in close prox­im­i­ty to Jude, despite reser­va­tions from his agent Kit. Willem’s attach­ment to Jude stems from their shared solace and Jude’s ground­ing influ­ence amid fame. Willem cher­ish­es the cama­raderie fos­tered by Jude, Harold, and Julia. A chance encounter with Andy at a restau­rant dur­ing a snowy stroll prompts Willem to divulge his affec­tions for Jude. While Andy sup­ports their bond, he cau­tions Willem regard­ing its grav­i­ty. Sens­ing Willem’s dis­tress, Jude inquires, prompt­ing Willem to acknowl­edge his sen­ti­ments. Ini­tial­ly hes­i­tant, Jude con­sents to explore a rela­tion­ship with Willem at a grad­ual pace, rel­ish­ing sim­ple ges­tures. Willem seeks singing lessons from Jude for an upcom­ing project. Jude unveils his his­to­ry with Caleb to Willem, striv­ing to over­come his aver­sion to inti­ma­cy. Their cir­cle of friends, bar­ring JB, rejoice in their union. JB reacts adverse­ly, believ­ing he should be Willem’s part­ner instead of Jude. Willem laments Jude’s fear of close­ness. While Willem refrains from pub­lic dec­la­ra­tions about his sex­u­al ori­en­ta­tion, he refus­es to con­ceal his bond with Jude, lead­ing to con­flicts with his rep­re­sen­ta­tives. The media unveils their affil­i­a­tion, height­en­ing Willem’s con­cerns about Jude’s expo­sure to press intru­sion and poten­tial dis­com­fort. Jude’s reas­sur­ances prompt Willem to under­stand their rela­tion­ship as a part­ner­ship, rather than a res­cue mission.

Con­tent warn­ing: The fol­low­ing con­tent address­es self-dam­age and sex­u­al vic­tim­iza­tion. Jude rev­els in his asso­ci­a­tion with Willem, par­tak­ing in a farewell din­ner at a lav­ish sushi eatery before Willem departs for work. Along­side Mal­colm, they con­struct a hol­i­day retreat in a wood­ed locale near a lake. Jude admires Mal­colm’s crafts­man­ship, rem­i­nisc­ing on the minia­ture struc­tures they craft­ed in col­lege and an episode where JB destroyed one, injur­ing Mal­colm. Despite his aver­sion to phys­i­cal inti­ma­cy, Jude endures it for Willem’s sake. Jude’s dis­clo­sure of his sex­u­al­ly trans­mit­ted con­di­tions leaves Willem with unre­solved queries. This inti­mate dynam­ic leads to Jude inflict­ing harm on him­self more fre­quent­ly and vig­or­ous­ly, incit­ing quar­rels. Willem endeav­ors to con­vey to Jude that he is unde­serv­ing of harm, yet Jude strug­gles to artic­u­late the solace self-injury pro­vides. One evening, Willem­sees Jude in the act, grabs the blade, and inflicts harm upon him­self. Lucien retires, leav­ing Jude in charge of man­ag­ing the com­pa­ny’s salary pack­ages. With Willem’s return immi­nent, Jude’s dis­tress­ing rec­ol­lec­tions inten­si­fy. Despite hav­ing cop­ing strate­gies, he pon­ders end­ing his life. Instead of that, he scorch­es his arm, reflect­ing a past occur­rence. The burn wors­ens, prompt­ing his friend Andy to give him an ulti­ma­tum to dis­close his sit­u­a­tion to Willem. When Willem returns, he shows con­cern for Jude, side­step­ping delv­ing too deeply into their inti­mate bond. Jude and Willem go to Harold and Juli­a’s for Thanks­giv­ing, where an irate call from Andy regard­ing Jude’s burn com­pels Willem to tack­le Jude about his his­to­ry. An tense din­ner fol­lows, cul­mi­nat­ing in a con­fronta­tion where Jude self-harms and accus­es Willem of emu­lat­ing his past tor­men­tors. Willem storms off in frus­tra­tion, but they both even­tu­al­ly return to New York. After dis­cussing the inci­dent with Andy, Willem rec­on­ciles with Jude and urges him to seek assis­tance. Jude con­fides ful­ly in Willem and com­mences ther­a­py the next day. Jude endured more abuse at a Mon­tana res­i­dence, notwith­stand­ing Broth­er Luke’s promise of a bet­ter future. Fol­low­ing anoth­er instance of assault, Jude flees, turn­ing to hitch­hik­ing and pros­ti­tu­tion. In Philadel­phia, he col­laps­es from an infec­tion and ends up in the pos­ses­sion of Dr. Tray­lor, who assaults him, deprives him of sus­te­nance, and ulti­mate­ly deserts him in a field after severe­ly injur­ing him with his vehi­cle. Jude awak­ens in a hos­pi­tal, par­a­lyzed and under the care of social work­er Ana.

part 5 chapter 3

Fol­low­ing Jude’s rev­e­la­tion about his past to Willem, they adapt to each oth­er’s con­straints over the ensu­ing years. Willem under­stands that Jude’s men­tal health strug­gles won’t mag­i­cal­ly dis­ap­pear and makes con­ces­sions for him, such as seek­ing sat­is­fac­tion else­where and pur­chas­ing a home tai­lored to Jude’s phys­i­cal require­ments. In return, Jude assumes a more mod­est role in Willem’s pub­lic life to shield him­self from indi­vid­u­als in his past. At 46, Jude becomes reliant on a wheel­chair, con­fronting the inevitabil­i­ty of poten­tial ampu­ta­tion and com­menc­ing a bout of health issues like unheal­ing sores, fevers, and hal­lu­ci­na­tions. Despite his predica­ment, he man­ages to remain com­posed, large­ly due to the care pro­vid­ed by Willem and his con­fi­dant Andy. After receiv­ing a diag­no­sis of osteomyelitis, a bone infec­tion, and under­go­ing numer­ous months of treat­ment, he col­laps­es dur­ing a stroll with Harold. Jude ulti­mate­ly con­fides in Willem that his dis­abil­i­ty results from Dr. Tray­lor’s actions. Like Willem, he must embrace an imper­fect exis­tence, even­tu­al­ly agree­ing to ampu­ta­tion. Though ini­tial­ly resis­tant, Jude even­tu­al­ly relents after wit­ness­ing Willem’s appre­hen­sion. The process is ardu­ous, but with Willem’s reas­sur­ance and reminders of his achieve­ments, he per­se­veres. The quar­tet of friends expe­ri­ences vary­ing lev­els of tri­umph. Mal­colm estab­lish­es him­self as a promi­nent archi­tect, Willem gar­ners acclaim in his act­ing career, Jude tri­umphs in a sig­nif­i­cant legal case, and JB encap­su­lates the bond between Willem and Jude in his art­work. As Jude’s health dete­ri­o­rates, Willem gath­ers strength, tack­ling demand­ing roles and even bring­ing their friends to his film sets. Togeth­er, they com­mis­sion Mal­colm to design a rur­al retreat, Lantern House. Mal­colm, his wife Sophie, and JB are fre­quent­ly invit­ed for week­end stays. One fate­ful day, while Jude read­ies a meal and Willem fetch­es their guests, a intox­i­cat­ed dri­ver caus­es a trag­ic acci­dent, claim­ing the lives of Willem, Mal­colm, and Sophie.

part 6 chapter 1

Willem shines in Orpheus and Eury­dice, a film mark­ing its twen­ti­eth year, with his pro­mo­tion­al mate­ri­als blan­ket­ing New York City. Despite this, Jude endeav­ors to uphold Willem’s mem­o­ry by using his cologne, don­ning his attire, watch­ing his films, and perus­ing his emails. He con­vinces him­self that Willem is on a space movie set, pen­ning night­ly emails com­menc­ing with “Dear Com­rade” with­out expect­ing respons­es. Rec­ol­lec­tions of being informed about the acci­dent by offi­cials at Lantern House abound, yet hazy mem­o­ries cloud the sub­se­quent events due to hos­pi­tal­iza­tion under med­ica­tion. Evi­dent­ly, an ine­bri­at­ed truck dri­ver dis­re­gard­ed a stop sig­nal, pre­cip­i­tat­ing the acci­dent that eject­ed Willem from the vehi­cle, end­ed Sophie’s life, and inflict­ed crit­i­cal injuries upon Mal­colm, who lat­er suc­cumbed to his injuries after his organs were donat­ed by his par­ents. Jude has no rec­ol­lec­tion of the trio of funer­als. He embarks on legal action against all impli­cat­ed par­ties, from trans­port to car rental firms, includ­ing indi­vid­u­als at all orga­ni­za­tion­al tiers, indif­fer­ent to their inabil­i­ty to com­pen­sate for the loss of Willem; his aim is sole­ly to inflict dis­tress upon them. Willem has been a piv­otal fig­ure in Jude’s life since his adult­hood, what he con­sid­ers his gen­uine exis­tence. His cop­ing mech­a­nism involves bury­ing him­self in work and sleep­ing dur­ing his off-hours. It appears pre­pos­ter­ous to him that he sur­vived while Willem did not, and he illog­i­cal­ly har­bors ani­mos­i­ty toward JB for endur­ing. A vis­it to Lantern House in pur­suit of more mem­o­ries expos­es Willem’s metic­u­lous doc­u­men­ta­tion of his own life and bond with Jude. Amidst his busy sched­ule, he’s tak­en aback when Richard invites him to din­ner, only to real­ize he’s over­looked his own birth­day. Richard presents him with a bust of Willem, prompt­ing Jude to even­tu­al­ly unwrap Mal­colm’s bequest to him. The inher­i­tance com­pris­es two minia­ture house mod­els craft­ed by Mal­colm; Lantern House and the Lispe­nard Street apart­ment he shared with Willem. That evening, Jude final­ly reach­es out to JB.

part 6 chapter 2

Amidst a new rou­tine, Jude embarks on vis­its to his erst­while legal men­tor Lucien, now unable to rec­og­nize him due to a stroke. The unveil­ing of Lucien’s per­son­al side proves both cap­ti­vat­ing and unset­tling for Jude. Tend­ing to Lucien evokes mem­o­ries of his days under Willem’s nur­tur­ing watch, pro­vid­ing a sem­blance of solace. The peri­od­ic vis­its are pri­mar­i­ly to grant Lucien’s wife respite from her respon­si­bil­i­ties, much like he yearned for Willem. Sub­se­quent­ly, he vis­its the Irvines, offer­ing a lis­ten­ing ear to Mal­colm’s father as he rec­ol­lects his mem­o­ries of his depart­ed son. In a bid to escape one of Willem’s film anniver­saries, Jude immers­es him­self in work in Bei­jing. How­ev­er, a Willem poster trig­gers a bout of self-destruc­tive behav­ior upon his return. Wit­ness­ing pro­mo­tions for Willem’s final film sends him spi­ral­ing. While din­ing with Mal­colm’s par­ents, Richard, and JB, Jude rem­i­nisces about a book­case Mal­colm craft­ed for him. The metic­u­lous effort Mal­colm made in rec­ti­fy­ing a minor flaw illus­trates his respect for mate­ri­als and spaces, in Jude’s view. Strug­gling with eat­ing and dai­ly liv­ing, Jude con­tem­plates sui­cide, though refrains from act­ing upon it, con­trary to a pledge made to Harold. Andy, Jude’s physi­cian, announces his retire­ment and intro­duces Jude to his suc­ces­sor, whom Jude knows he won’t vis­it. The inabil­i­ty to address his past con­tin­ues to haunt him, lead­ing to a fall­out with Andy, which is sub­se­quent­ly resolved. Anx­ious about the poten­tial loss of Harold, Jude is tak­en aback when Harold divulges plans of relo­cat­ing clos­er to him. Over­whelmed by this ges­ture, Jude asks Harold to depart, pon­der­ing sui­cide. He berates him­self for con­tentious­ness with loved ones and exces­sive depen­den­cy on oth­ers. Dur­ing JB’s paint­ing ret­ro­spec­tive, Jude is tak­en aback by a por­trait of Willem. As he rem­i­nisces with JB, a lack of sus­te­nance caus­es him to feel faint unex­pect­ed­ly, lead­ing to an impromp­tu kiss from JB and an awk­ward departure.

part 6 chapter 3

Jude’s fre­quent faint­ing episodes stem from his self-imposed star­va­tion. He antic­i­pates hal­lu­ci­nat­ing about Willem in secre­cy. Con­ced­ing his irra­tional behav­ior akin to ancient mys­tics, he expe­ri­ences a mix­ture of grief and relief at the notion of leav­ing noth­ing behind. His desire to per­sist for Harold’s sake wanes as he con­tem­plates death through star­va­tion. He begins to believe that his life has per­pet­u­al­ly been manip­u­lat­ed by oth­ers, accred­it­ing his accom­plish­ments to his friends rather than his own abil­i­ties. Amidst declin­ing health, he envi­sions Broth­er Luke and Dr. Tray­lor delib­er­at­ing over his des­tiny. Rarely ven­tur­ing out­side, when Harold and Julia relo­cate to NYC to be clos­er to him, their house­warm­ing cel­e­bra­tion trans­forms into an inter­ven­tion. Friends install a feed­ing tube, mon­i­tor him atten­tive­ly, and urge him to con­sult Dr. Loehmann. Jude’s response is marked by mal­ice and petu­lance. Reject­ing meals served by Julia and Harold, he hurls his plate against the wall. Instead of retal­i­at­ing, Harold embraces Jude, trig­ger­ing a mem­o­ry of a past break­down at Harold’s res­i­dence. Even­tu­al­ly, Jude returns to Dr. Loehmann to delve into his past. In the cul­mi­nat­ing chap­ter, Harold rec­ol­lects a trip to Europe they took two years after Willem’s pass­ing. Dur­ing this excur­sion, Jude wan­ders solo in Rome, caus­ing wor­ry to Harold and Julia. Upon Jude’s return to the U.S., Harold fears a sui­ci­dal attempt. Mem­o­ries of Jude’s strug­gles with pros­thet­ic legs and frus­tra­tions loom large. Despite endeav­ors to engage him in fresh activ­i­ties, Jude’s lack of enthu­si­asm is pal­pa­ble. Fol­low­ing his ordeal of star­va­tion, his friends agree to over­see his care for a year. Jude declines a pro­mo­tion, cit­ing trav­el plans. He and Harold fre­quent­ly embark on leisure­ly strolls. Ulti­mate­ly, at 53, Jude opts to end his life. Six years lat­er, only Harold and JB remain alive. Harold uncov­ers a mis­sive from Jude detail­ing his past and feel­ings of decep­tion. Despite the tragedy, Harold aspires that his com­pas­sion may bring Jude solace in the after­life. The book con­cludes with Jude nar­rat­ing his rooftop leap.